I wanted to share this with you. It has been on my heart for a while. I just haven’t taken the time to write it yet. It is an important topic for discussion…. I realize somewhere I got lost living in fear. I am not happy living there. It is not my normal residency either. I have no idea how long I have been here. A year? Maybe two?
Usually, I don’t live with fear. I live with the hope of the idea of: someday, somehow… I live by doing my best and having faith for the rest of it… Because one never knows what tomorrow holds. There are three ways to fail.
If we complain about what we don’t have, if we blame others for our own lack we won’t get anywhere. We can’t live with resentment, anger, or ungratefulness. Those are tools that hold you back. They let fear work its way into your life if its not already there. You also can’t try to live up to others’ expectations. It is impossible to be who they want and yourself. Just be yourself.
FEAR is a powerful weapon and enemy that strikes you at every chance. Fear of failure, missing out, not being noticed, not being good enough, fear of being forced, ect… You have to believe in yourself and know that you have a unique creative presence and purpose. One that only you have…
Life is short, you do not know what tomorrow holds. What will change, what may happen or not happen… There are so many possibilities and chances… You need to overcome the fear and put forth the effort. Work towards your desires, dreams, goals.
Don’t put off what you wanna do or where you wanna go, because you think you may fail, you have failed. With the thought, it may not work out… If you don’t try… If you don’t put yourself out there nothing will ever change! Simple as that! If you don’t put in the effort and let go of or overcome the fear you will never get your reach your dreams, desires, or goals…
I say this out of true love and from personal experience… Life Hard!!!!! I have put off some things I really wanted and then it was to beforehand have regrets… I don’t ever want to do that again… I don’t want to live with regrets or see anyone miss out on their dreams for lack of trying.
You have to do it for yourself! You deserve happiness… You are special, amazing, and loved!! Don’t be afraid. Fear keeps us from joy! From reaching potentials we may not even know is possible.
We may never be fully satisfied with our lives, but we can do our best and make the best out of what we have!!!
💕 I really appreciate you all. Your encouragement means a lot!
I hope you find your passion if you haven’t and stay safe!
Hard question to answer? It can be huh… You matter! Honestly you should be asked how you are more often. Sadly that isn’t always the case or possible. So here I am asking you.
-I am also here to say to you and I –
Getting back on topic, I thought I would stop by to say Hi. While giving an small update. I’ve thought other then just talking about what is going on around me and in the world, I’d talk to you about myself and some thoughts that I’ve had.
Where do I start… Hmmm. I am not in depression, tho I’ve been there before. Although sometimes I feel like I’m dancing on the edges of it constantly. Yet, I am always having to be on guard, staying strong looking for those silver – linings…
Which reminds me of a passage in the Bible. Stay with me please even if you don’t belive. I’m not trying to sway you. I am a beliver in Christ, yes. Even if you are not, I wanna ask you to have an open mind. I wish share something that has helped me. Maybe it will help you. Maybe not… Please at least read the blog post in its entirety. Thanks.
Psalms 23 <KJV>
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
I’m not gonna dissect the whole thing. However, I feel it’s important to share the full character. What I want to talk about is this part- “Walk in the shadows of death, I will fear no evil.” I didn’t fully understand what the shadows of death meant for many years but now I feel like I do. I remember it like yesterday. I almost ten years ago, I was driving through a canyon. It was a sunny day out but the canyon cast a complete shadow over the long road that I was driving. Then suddenly it clicked for me. To me, that verse meant constantly surrounded by death, yet not dead. Not to be morbid, but true…
My life kinda drives that point home. I’ve had so many near death and serious life threatening situations; due to heath as well as just living.
Do you want a current example being surrounded by the threat of death. Many people would say covid (whatever you want to call it.) is right now the major death threat. Many would also say that it is everywhere and its breathing down our necks constantly… It is a threat in so many ways. A perfect example for my topic. We try to live on but everywhere and everybody effective, affected, and talking about it. Why… Due to covid our lives have been turned upside – down and inside – out. Why? Because the threat of death is scary!
This post isn’t about covid tho. I am just trying to make a point the fear of death is truly scary. You never bern afraid of death before, never had it thrown inbyour face so dramatically. Lets be real death is scary point blank! No matter where your faith lies. And- if – when your always afraid of it – then you’re not fully living…. That verse Psalms 23:4 points out the true fact Death is everywhere constantly threatening. To me that suns up depression pretty well too. Depression is a sickness based on fear, self worth ect… Always there hiding in the shadows waiting and wanting to attack! That sums up a lot actually.
With that said, It has not been easy for me to open up, let alone write for quite awhile now.
I haven’t been depressed, but I’ve been in the shadows of depression. For over a year now honestly. Not just because of Dad, but other things as well. I haven’t even touched my books in months. If you know me and follow me, you know how important they are to me. It has taken me weeks just to write this post. I have been emotionally and a bit physically feeling like I am running on fumes- out of gas.
Depression, fear, anxiety, and emotions, seems to been running rampant. Fear, especially of the unknown, is really trying to take center stage. For a while it was successful at it. Not just for me, for so many otheres, I know and some I love, as well peopleI have briefly crossed paths with. Fear is a powerful enemy. Just as depression, loneliness and self-worth. All the above is more powerful now then ever… These stresses’ can really wipe you out, and severely damage your life. Not just mentally and emotionally, but also they can be physically crippling. I do not say that lightly. 😒
Usually its best to go talk to someone. I’ve got God, Jesus, and The HolySpirit. For that. This is my go to verse, the one I live by. “The Devil comes to steal, kill and destroy; but I come to bring Life and to bring it Abundantly! –John 10:10 Along with “I am the good Shepherd; the good shepherd sacrifices his life for his sheep” –John 10:11
= Jesus. Jesus is my Shepard. So I will fear no evil, like Psalms 23 says. Even when it gets gets hard.
Personally I am just trying to adjust to a new lifestyle and re-figure out my place and goals. While I get through the grieving process of loosing my dad, my dog and our cat last year. I do not like to mention or talk about the rough hardships nor how negative it gets and feels at times. I don’t like to be weak or show weakness. But God showed me it is apart of the growth process and I needed to write about it.
That way I can help others like me maybe, you. I bet I am not the only one who feels down, and stressed too. But keep fighting for yourself, keep looking for the silver linings in life. They may be small but they can have huge impacts, if not now possibly later. Either way they’ll encourage you to smile even if its just for a moment. Trust me. I know. That one smile is a small step towards more smiles.
I remind myself everyday of all the accomplished and stuff I have been through.. which is a lot… Also that I have a purpose and I owe it to God, myself and my loved ones to stay positive and to keep smiling through it all. Especially when I don’t feel like it. I suggest that you also remind yourself of your own accomplishments big or small. Along with your survivals as well… I highly recommend you build yourself up especially when you don’t feel like it.
Here’s a few pictures to briefly recap some of the hardships that I have lived through.
These images are proof if I can survive this I can get through the current and forthcoming temporary challenge too.
Its hard for me to be vulnerable. I truly try to stay tough and cheerful. But when I don’t express myself I end you ferling worse then before or have an emotional moment. I tried to keep all the moments captured in images correctly ordered. It is a little hard to do via my cellphone. Sadly lost a lot of pictures due to computer and phone issues. Including the involuntary removals from social media sites. Thus, I don’t have many online anymore. I’ve learned that you just have to make the best of what you have. Easier said then done, I know… A lot of theses pictures are from previous blogs I’ve written. Some I may not have covered here but in preson, but will in my books. Don’t forget thatI and my mothe. Have some Video blogs on www.deeplyrootedinhim.net
Now here are some more positive memorable achievements and moments from my life so far…
This is not all I’ve survivied or accomplished. I don’t have the time or space to go over each event. I have years worth of posts here from instagram and Facebook as well. For you to read if you really want to know more. I promise to keep working on my books; those which I pray will change and help your life in a positive way. Not every day is promised so all I can do is give you the best I can and trust God with it.
I realized in doing this post just how much I’ve gone through and how little I’ve opened up about. Repression always cones out in some form. Sometimes not in the best complimenting ways. Thus it is better to talk about what goes on and what you neded. You matted. Don’t take the people in your life for granted, and open up to someone.
We are not alone. I have friends, family, and a wonderful man. Even if i was by myself I have my faith in God. I see Jesus as my bestfriend. With the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, in my life. As you do too if you so desire. That gives me and you a reason to keep moving forward.
I wake up and thank God for a new day. One full of possibilities and chances to spread love -joy, be productive, and spend time with the ones we care about. Its not always easy for sure, but its better to try then give up. My passion is to spread love and joy. To encourage you that you are treasure. That you are loved and mattered especially to God.
Here are some places you can reach out to if you don’t know who to talk to or don’t want to discuss anything about it with people close to you…
The mental health issues related to our lockdown and the pandemic are especially hard for people with depression. NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental Illness have a 24 hour helpline: 800-950-6264
NAMI offers support and education programs for families and individuals living with mental health conditions. NAMI recognizes that the key concepts of recovery, resiliency and support are essential to improving the wellness and quality of life of all persons affected by mental illness.
〰️Lifeline We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
If it is like “Hyrule Warriors Difinitive Eddition” < only available via direct download now> I am totally psyched… I love all Zelda games 🎮
It’s hard to talk a video while playing one handed. But here’s the only one I can share right now. The others are on my memory card. Its way better than I expected and if you are an avid Link / Zelda fan you should get the game.
I think it will be a great game even tho there are locked maps. Yet the maps are big. Hyrule Warriors Difinitive Eddition is awesome and has a playable storyline with storytelling. This game unlike Hyrule Warriors Calamity <yet to come out>
This one covers all the Zelda stories supposedly up to BOTW. Of course in thier its own unique way. I gavevbmno complaibts so far. This game is awesome. The play able characters, the stories are top rate!!!! I’m so impressed with the graphics!!!
I expect Age of Calmmity to be the same or better. I think it will be way more complicated than the predicted 30 hours. Especially since it’s supposed to play like like Hyrule Warriors Difinitive Eddition and be like BOTW. Also locked maps are hinted, so probably not open an world game like BOTW…. However the maps in this game are still big even if locked! I keep getting lost.
Hyrule Warriors Difinitive Eddition -wich compileed all the previous Hyrule Warriors games together- is very story heavy… Especially the legend mode. So much so that you get annoyed if you have to replay a area. The cut scenes are long. After watching once tho you an skip. I love how it has a gallery tho where you can watch the cut sceens you’ve collected just like BOTW does. So I expect Age of Calmmity to be about the same. I love how it has a gallery tho where you can watch the cut sceens you’ve collected just like BOTW does. So I expect Age of Calmmity to be about the same.
In order to unlock playable aspects such as Fairies 🧚♀️ and other perks and game sections you have to play the Ledgend mode and the Advture mode. The Adventure mode is confusing to me but I’ll figure it out. It is where you get your fairy for ledgend modr and fairy food to level her up among other things. Also I found it really cool that you can rename your fairy!!! To me it makes it feel more like your story.
If you still arnt sure you want the game? Then you should check out this guy’s YouTube channel of his game play throughout the game.
That is about all I have to say about this game. I adore it if you couldn’t tell. I highly suggest you guys get it from your swich shop. Hard copy cards are rare and double, maybe trippple the original price now. The game came out Christmas 2018, but I got it October 2019. Why did I wait so long??? By far it is one of my most favored games! And I am telling you this for free. It is also a great way to vent your frustration and stress….. You will be saving Hyrule and the rest of the Zelda lands!!!! Have a wonderful rest of the year. God bless you today and always, good night 😴
It has been a while. I know I missed you. Did you miss me? I have been taking a break from the online world for the most part. Other than some side projects, which I will get into later. I have been really bad and been on facebook more than this blog. I have a lot of backdating to do. (meaning I need to move things I wrote here.) Let us be real. There is a lot I need to update and change here and elsewhere. I know not everyone uses Facebook, Instagram or social media. Thus, I will be working a lot on that and my books.
Moving on to the point of this post, I did a vlog! A video blog… I have been practicing with a side project which I will tell you about next time. Right now tho I would like to share this with you. This came from my heart and was really personal. It took several tries to finish and I was really nervous. Here it is from the other blog and ministry I am doing with people:
Every year or on my other blog I reflect on my life and I write about the growth I have been through. This year I decided to do something different based on the ministry we are getting off the ground. I did my third official Vlog, where I am on camera speaking to you all. I was really nervous. I pray that me stepping out in faith really bless you all. I love you! You Matter! Don’t forget that…
Here are the references she mentioned in the video.
✞ John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (New International Version)
✞ Hebrews 13:5-6 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. “What will man do to me?” (New American Standard Version)
✞ John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. (King James Version)
✞ John 10:11-12 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. 12 A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will abandon the sheep because they don’t belong to him and he isn’t their shepherd. And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. (New Living Translation)
✞ Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (New International Version)
✞ Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (New International Version)
✞ 2 Timothy 2:1-2 You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. (King James Version)