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Hey There World…


Hello friends,       

It has been a bit since I said hello👋.

 Hard question to answer? It can be huh… You matter! Honestly you should be asked how you are more often. Sadly that isn’t always the case or possible. So here I am asking you.

-I am also here to say to you and I –

Getting back on topic, I thought I would stop by to say Hi. While giving an small update. I’ve thought other then just talking about what is going on around me and in the world, I’d talk to you about myself and some thoughts that I’ve had.

Where do I start… Hmmm. I am not in depression, tho I’ve been there before. Although sometimes I feel like I’m dancing on the edges of it constantly. Yet, I am always having to be on guard, staying strong looking for those silver – linings…

Which reminds me of a passage in the Bible. Stay with me please even if you don’t belive. I’m  not trying to sway you. I am a beliver in Christ, yes. Even if you are not, I wanna ask you to have an open mind. I wish share something that has helped me. Maybe it will help you. Maybe not… Please at least read the blog post in its entirety.  Thanks.

Psalms 23 <KJV> 

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I’m not gonna dissect the whole thing. However, I feel it’s important to share the full character. What I want to talk about is this part- “Walk  in the shadows of death, I will fear no evil.”  I didn’t fully understand what the shadows of death meant for many years but now I feel like I do. I remember it like yesterday. I almost ten years ago, I was driving through a canyon. It was a sunny day out but the canyon cast a complete shadow over the long road that I was driving. Then suddenly it clicked for me. To me, that verse meant constantly surrounded by death, yet not dead. Not to be morbid, but true…

My life kinda drives that point home. I’ve had so many near death and serious life threatening situations; due to heath as well as just living. 

Do you want a current example being surrounded by the threat of death. Many people would say covid (whatever you want to call it.) is right now the major death threat. Many would also say that it is everywhere and its breathing down our necks constantly… It is a threat in so many ways. A perfect example for my topic. We try to live on but everywhere and everybody effective, affected, and talking about it. Why… Due to covid our lives have been turned upside – down and inside – out. Why? Because the threat of death is scary!

This post isn’t about covid tho. I am just trying to make a point the fear of death is truly scary. You never bern afraid of death before, never had it thrown inbyour face so dramatically. Lets be real death is scary point blank! No matter where your faith lies. And- if – when your always afraid of it – then you’re not fully living….  That verse Psalms 23:4 points out the true fact Death is everywhere constantly  threatening. To me that suns up depression pretty well too. Depression is a sickness based on fear, self worth ect… Always there hiding in the shadows waiting and wanting to attack! That sums up a lot actually.

With that said, It has not been easy for me to open up, let alone write for quite awhile now.

I haven’t been depressed, but I’ve been in the shadows of depression. For over a year now honestly. Not just because of Dad, but other things as well. I haven’t even touched my books in months. If you know me and follow me, you  know how important they are to me. It has taken me weeks just to write this post. I have been emotionally and a bit physically feeling like I am running  on fumes- out of gas.

Depression, fear, anxiety, and emotions, seems to been running  rampant. Fear, especially of the unknown, is really trying to take center stage. For a while it was successful at it. Not just for me, for so many otheres, I know and some I love, as well peopleI have briefly crossed paths with. Fear is a powerful enemy. Just as depression, loneliness and self-worth. All the above is more powerful now then ever… These stresses’ can really wipe you out, and severely damage your life. Not just mentally and emotionally, but also they can be physically crippling. I do not say that lightly. 😒

Usually its best to go talk to someone. I’ve got God, Jesus, and The HolySpirit. For that. This is my go to verse, the one I live by. “The Devil comes to steal, kill and destroy; but I come to bring Life and to bring it Abundantly! –John 10:10 Along with “I am the good Shepherd; the good shepherd sacrifices his life for his sheep” –John 10:11

= Jesus. Jesus is my Shepard. So I will fear no evil, like Psalms 23 says. Even when it gets gets hard.

Us – Believers / Christians ✝️

Personally I am just trying to adjust to a new lifestyle and re-figure out my place and goals. While I get through the grieving  process of loosing my dad, my dog and our cat last year. I do not like to mention or talk about the rough   hardships nor how negative it gets and feels at times. I don’t like to be weak or show weakness. But God showed me it is apart of the growth process and I needed to write about it.

That way I can help others like me maybe, you. I bet I am not the only one who feels down, and stressed too. But keep fighting for yourself, keep looking for the silver linings in life. They may be small but they can have huge impacts, if not now possibly later.  Either way they’ll encourage you to smile even if its just for a moment. Trust me. I know. That one smile is a small step towards more smiles.

For my fellow belivers  in Christ -Not my art but appropriate.

I remind myself everyday of all the  accomplished and stuff I have been through.. which is a lot… Also that I have a purpose and I owe it to God,  myself and my loved ones to stay positive and to keep smiling through it all. Especially when I don’t feel like it.  I suggest that you also remind yourself of your own accomplishments big or small. Along with your survivals as well… I highly recommend you build yourself up especially when you don’t feel like it.

Here’s a few  pictures  to briefly recap some of the hardships that I have lived through.

These images are proof if I can survive this I can get through the current and forthcoming temporary challenge too.

Its hard for me to be vulnerable. I truly try to stay tough and cheerful. But when I don’t express myself I end you ferling worse then before or have an emotional moment. I tried to keep all the moments  captured in images correctly ordered. It is a little hard to do via my cellphone. Sadly lost a lot of pictures due to computer and phone issues. Including the involuntary removals from social media sites. Thus, I don’t have many online anymore. I’ve learned that you just have to make the best of what you have. Easier said then done, I know… A lot of theses pictures are from previous blogs I’ve written. Some I may not have covered here but in preson, but will in my books. Don’t forget thatI and my mothe. Have some Video blogs on www.deeplyrootedinhim.net

  Now here are some more positive memorable achievements and moments from my life so far…

This is not all I’ve survivied or accomplished. I don’t have the time or space to go over each event. I have years worth of posts here from instagram and Facebook as well. For you to read if you really want to know more. I promise to keep  working on my books; those which I pray will change and help your life in a positive way. Not every day is promised so all I can do is give you the best I can and trust God with it.

I realized in doing this post just how much I’ve gone through and how little I’ve opened up about. Repression always cones out in some form. Sometimes not in the best complimenting ways. Thus it is better to talk about what goes on and what you neded. You matted. Don’t take the people in your life for granted, and open up to someone.

We are not alone. I  have friends, family, and a wonderful man. Even if i was by myself I have my faith in God. I see Jesus as my bestfriend. With the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, in my life. As you do too if you so desire. That gives me and you a reason to keep moving forward. 

I wake up and thank God for a new day. One full of possibilities and  chances to spread  love -joy, be productive, and spend time with the ones we care about.  Its not always easy for sure, but its better to try then give up. My passion is to spread love and joy. To encourage you that you are treasure. That you are loved and mattered especially to God.

Here are some places you can reach out to if you don’t know who to talk to or don’t want to discuss anything about it with people close to you…

〰️💕💕💕〰️

The mental health issues related to our lockdown and the pandemic are especially hard for people with depression. NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental Illness have a 24 hour helpline: 800-950-6264

〰️

 https://www.nami.org/help

〰️What-does-NAMI-stand-for-and-what-is-its-mission

NAMI offers support and education programs for families and individuals living with mental health conditions. NAMI recognizes that the key concepts of recovery, resiliency and support are essential to improving the wellness and quality of life of all persons affected by mental illness.

〰️💕💕💕〰️

❤💛💚💙💜

〰️Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

ღ╮❤╭ღ╯ Amy Jane Sandberg ╰ღ╮❤╭ღ╯

This Happened…


Hello, new and old friends. For those of you who are new, I have was born with Truncus Arteriosus, a congenital heart defect. I was the third person in the world to have my whole heart rebuilt, I have had three open-heart surgeries, been in two comas, had four stokes one of which caused me to be brain dead when I was twelve.

Here’s a short book I wrote about my medical past, including being brain dead and in a coma. On sale until September 27th.

GS&MH 3d image 1.png

https://www.amazon.com/Amy-Jane-Sandberg/e/B00NF9F0OY/

I’ve been doing great recently so I thought. Yet, I wasn’t. Things were falling back in to place but I was just sick and tired a lot. I started having what I thought were “new panic attacks”. I’ve had my fair share of varied panic attacks due to medical PTSD, they are also hereditary on my mother’s side. Theses “New Ones” tho, I had none of the usual symptoms other than my heart racing for a few mins to a couple hours. Usually, they only happened before bed and when I woke up. I had been dealing with “New Attacks” for almost a month. I had no pains and no stamina. I thought I was just out of shape, so I kept trying to be productive, but when mid-afternoon came around I was spent.

When I went to doctor for antibiotics July 16th 2019, I needed for a trip I was preparing for. I was having one of those “new attacks”. I met a medical student who started asking me a ton of questions while waiting for the doctor. They were not unusual questions for a med student to ask me. I told him all about my history and what was going on… (I was there anyways right. Just be honest and tell him I’m having a new panic attack.) He then asked me more random questions. I don’t remember them all. I told him what I told you above, he took my vitals then left the room to get my primary. Who in turn came in to immediately run an EKG- Electrocardiography -It’s a test that records the electrical activity of your heart through small electrode patches that a technician, nurse, or doctor attaches to the skin of your chest, arms, and legs. My doctor then disappeared with the results and came back on the phone with my cardiologist. Honestly, at that point, I was getting scared. I called my mom and told her something was up and asked her to pray.

My doctor put my cardiologist on speaker who proceeded to tell me my heart was racing pretty fast and my rhythm was irregular. I started praying under my breath and asked how serious it was. My cardiologist told me he wasn’t able to answer that question because he’s not there and instructed that I go to the hospital with a trustworthy Truncus Arteriosus colleague of his. Because he was four hours away and his colleague was only two. I was worried and teary-eyed at that point. He told me because my heart was racing and irregular.

I had three choices:

🔹️1. Go to the local Er and have them transport me via ambulance.

🔹️2. Have someone drive me as soon as possible. 🔹️3. Do nothing hope it stops but he’d rather I not risk it.

I asked if I would need surgery. He said he was pretty confident it could be handled via medication. So I pulled myself together and went to tell my parents what was going on, only to find my dad already in the waiting room.

I chose option 3. I convinced my dad to meet me at home then we’d drive the two hours there. Honestly, an Emergency Room Ambulance transfer would’ve taken longer and been a bigger hassle for everyone. My mom opted to stay home because it was already 5pm and she knew dad would probably stay the night. Someone had to watch the dogs. Even tho she wanted to be with us, I told her it was fine. I reassured her that I didn’t feel bad in any way, I was just tired. When we got there it was close to seven-thirty pm. The check-in and triage went smoothly because my cardiologist had called in ahead.

At around midnight I was still in the Emergency Room, they gave me an IV for fluids because I was dehydrated and drew lots of blood. After running a bunch of tests. The doctors on call told me I had a flutter in my upper arteries and my heart rhythm was out of wack. They gave me some medicine to see if they could calm my heart down and wanted me to stay overnight. I was really nervous, something like this happened to my dad a few years ago after a heart attack and he ended up needing a defibrillator implant. They reassured me I wasn’t having the same issues as he had.

I found reading my Bible out loud calmed my heart a bit which was very good. My rhythm went from dangerous to not so good. Honestly, I don’t read my Bible as often as I should. Yet, it goes where go and where I sleep always! I find having my Bible close, especially at night gives me peace.

They soon sent me to a room and gave me a heart monitor to wear. (I posted pictures below) All night long they were coming and checking my vitals. I barely slept, I was praying non-stop, and reading my Bible.

The next morning after running more EKG tests and taking more vitals, they realized my heart rate was not changing and my rhythm was not getting better. When they first told me I had a flutter I thought they meant a generic flutter. I’ve had PVCs before, due to my odd heart so I really didn’t think anything was going on.
(PVCs) are -Premature ventricular contractions: extra heartbeats that begin in one of your heart’s two lower pumping chambers (ventricles). These extra beats disrupt your regular heart rhythm, sometimes causing you to feel a fluttering or a skipped beat in your chest.

Apparently, A flutter stands for Atrial flutter – Your heart misfires its electrical impulses, bringing on an irregular or fast heartbeat in the upper chambers of your heart. Making it to fast or to slow. To slow is more dangerous. PVCs and A-Flutter are common for CHD (Congenital Heart Defect) people. A Flutter is different from Afid which is what my dad had among other things.

Around 11 a.m. they came in to discuss a plan. Really – I didn’t have an option. If I wanted my heart rhythm to be good again without surgery of sorts. I had to agree to their plan. They would do an ultrasound, a TEE, and if all good tbed shock me via a defibrillator.

Around two pm they arrived to do an ultrasound- (image using sound waves to produce pictures of the inside of my heart externally.)

Then they prepared me for a TEE (-A transesophageal echocardiography. Which is a test that produces pictures of your heart. Using high-frequency sound waves (ultrasound) to make detailed pictures of your heart and the arteries that lead to and from it. Unlike a standard echocardiogram, the echo transducer that produces the sound waves for TEE is attached to a thin tube that passes through your mouth, down your throat, and into your esophagus. Because the esophagus is so close to the upper chambers of the heart, very clear images of those heart structures and valves can be obtained more detail than a standard echocardiogram can give them. The sound waves are sent to your heart by the probe in your esophagus that are translated into pictures.) I was escorted to a small room after and I was given me some liquid to gargle to numb my throat, and some to swallow so they wouldn’t damage my throat. The anaesthesiologist used to be a nurse for children with Congenital Heart defects and she was talking me through it with great patience. This test had to be done In order to make sure I had no blood clots in my heart. I got panicky when my throat went numb. I thought I wasn’t breathing. (Remember, I went in sick with sinus issues, and was breathing through my mouth mostly.) The woman reminded me I had oxygen on and it was currently at 97%. She then gave me a little sedation to calm me down. While telling me that it is quite common for people to feel that way. (I wondered if that was true tho.) When I was able to swallow again, my throat still numb, I told her. She said good, and that she could see the cardiologist coming. He introduced himself, told me the plan, asked me if I was good. The next thing I knew I was waking up a couple hours later. I’m pretty sure they had said that they were going to keep me mostly awake for the TEE, but I guess they were worried I couldn’t handle it. Thus, they put me completely under. I won’t lie, I’m glad they did.

While I was sedated. They didn’t see any clots and went ahead with shocking me. Which put me back in my normal sinus rhythm and my heart rate is mostly normal now. So I was told.

My throat was sore from sinusitis, but after that, numbing stuff ect it actually felt better… My back and chest were a little sore the next few days but only because they did the defibrillator shock to reset my heart. I was in the hospital a total of five days and six nights. All the while they closely monitored me and searched to find a bata blocker that would work on me.

I’ll admit it. I cried a several times when I was alone, due to fear of the unknown and known overwhelmed me. I was also subpose to be going on a big trip. It was important to me for various reasons. The biggest reason tho was mainly to see my man and meet his family. They had told me I’d be able to still go. I shouldn’t be in the hospital more then a day. Obviously that wasn’t the case. I’ve been wanting to go on this trip for years… I am not exaggerating. Something was always getting in the way tho. And now I was was was in the way. That was one of the biggest reasons I was upset. I sad I had to cancel / postpone the trip yet again. I had no choice, and no I dea when I could go again tho. They said I shouldn’t be flying for at least three months. Thank God I purchased a ticket with insurance. Even tho I was finally getting better. I was heart broken.

When I couldn’t sleep or relax. I’d flip through my Bible and read random passages writing down anything that stood out or encouraged me. Like- Mark 5:36 “Daughter, thy faith has made you whole, now go in peace.”

I was an IV blood thinner, not heparin. I don’t know the name (I’m allergic to Heparin and Warfarin. It is genetic and rare… I posted info and links below.) Along with my Coumadin just as a precaution.

I was later given a shot like ENOXAPARIN (LOVENOX), DALTEPARIN (FRAGMIN): <A Low molecular weight heparin injectable anticoagulant blood thinner used for both the treatment and prevention of clots. They are produced by chemically breaking down heparin into smaller-sized molecules. But something newer instead, but non-heparin based.>

Called: FONDAPARINUX (ARIXTRA): Fondaparinux is a synthetic blood thinner, acting similarly to low molecular weight heparin. It blocks the clotting activity of a blood-clotting protein (factor X), and it is administered via an injection under the skin once daily. Because at one point my vain blew from the IV leaking into my skin. I also had bruises all over too from all the blood draws they were required to get. I have small picky veins from being poked since I was born and often they like to be difficult…

My whole arm up to my elbow became an ugly dark purple for almost a week… The pictures make it look better than what it really was. They had to keep an Iv in me so they switched arms.

One of the last mornings I was there, I felt bad because I scared a phlebotomist or Iv tech when I was half asleep by being a brat. I haven’t had the best expeinces in my medical life and sometimes PTSD is a b…… I made sure I apologized and explained I wasn’t fully awake and was thinking something else was going on at the time… I think after that they were a bit scared of poking me tho… However, most the time I tried to stay positive and in a cheery mood. They were one of the best hospitals I’ve had to stay at ever.

Again, I posted links below for those of you who wanna know more…

I usually don’t talk about what goes on with me anymore. I was really shaken up. I’ve been so good for so long, with minor scares. I put off going to the doctor mainly I guess because, I was afraid of what they may say. I was also worried about my family and all we’ve been through lately. I didn’t wanna cause them more stress.

I asked so many questions. I especially asked them about a cause or trigger that could’ve avoided this happening. He said there really was none, it’s just something that happens to congenital heart patients; especially those with Truncus Arteriosus.The doctors said A Flutter can be pretty common for Trunkis Arterosis and other CHD patients. If not caught in time it can really damage your heart. I really didn’t think anything of it because I had no pain and panic attacks are common for me. It was a really scary realization of what was going on within me. It’s a good thing they caught it before it got worse.

Please take care of yourself and if something doesn’t feel right or it is out of the ordinary, make sure you talk to a doctor.

Other than postponing my travel plans some good came from the hospital stay. I always believe good can come out of every situation, even bad ones… I was able to meet some wonderful people including some “Zipper Sisters ” from Facebook. They were such a blessing to me and a nice distraction.  (Again I had pictures but they seem to have poofed I will add them when if I can find them…)

 

I am doing so much better, just getting used to the new medication. I see a big improvement in my activity, abilities, and sleep. I’m still a bit sore and my arm is finally starting to look natural again. I am still shaken up from this experience and having issues sleeping alone at night like when I got home after my second coma….

With congenital heart defects, you need to see your cardiologist regularly. I was told I may never have another attack again, which I pray will be true! I’m going to make sure I take care of myself. I’m now on Metropol the Beta-blocker and beginning to feel like my old active self again for the most part.

God bless you all and thanks for reading and supporting me!


🔗https://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/atrial-fibrillation/arrhythmia

🔗https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/8887.php

🔗 https://www.medicinenet.com/atrial_flutter/article.htm

🔗 https://www.ihtc.org/injectable-anticoagulants/

🔗https://www.ihtc.org/heparin-induced-thrombocytopenia/

🔗https://www.ihtc.org/intravenous-anticoagulants/

╰ღ╮ Amy Jane Sandberg╰ღ╮

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